February 01, 2007


What a tweest!

Brief review of "Lady in the Water":


Namely, it inspired me to, at approximately the one-quarter mark, begin repeatedly snarling "End! END, damn you! END!" at the screen. As the one-quarter mark became halfway became two-thirds became three-quarters became four-fifths became Zeno's Paradox instantiated in a hellish feedback loop of dysfunctional relationship between me and media, these snarls became hollow, empty prayers. Similar to the prayers of millions of paralyzed children to please God just let them walk and run again, these prayers were answered: "No."

To place things in relative perspective, a by-title review of M. Knight Etcetera's output:

The Sixth Sense: an enjoyable feature-length Twilight Zone episode, which received a spasm of admiration far beyond its merits. Still: enjoyable.

Unbreakable: one of the best superhero movies ever made. Also, his best work; this had much to do with M. restraining (or being restrained) from putting himself in front of the camera for no good goddamn reason, and that it's his only film that wasn't a feature-length Twilight Zone episode. An outlier, and I suspect it'll be his only one.

Signs: in some sort of karmic balancing, this received a spasm of negativity that far outsunk its flaws. Also, they're not aliens. Further, an enjoyable feature-length Twilight Zone episode.

The Village: a second-string feature-length Twilight Zone episode. Not a bad way to spend a couple hours relaxing and eating some popcorn.

Lady in the Water: the ultimate problem with...no, it is too much, let me sum up: What. The. Fuck.

posted by Gar @ 8:15 PM
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