May 10, 2011


Still alive.

I'll just brush off a year and a half of dust from this, and note that I'm alive and well for that small number of readers who don't already know that in person.

I'll also point out that this week, the management over at the gaming community Quarter to Three has been kind enough to host some cheerful babbling I've done about the relatively-unknown video game "Clutch." Monday's entry is here and the rest will release scattered about each day after that.

posted by Gar @ 9:33 AM

September 24, 2008


Random bits from my brain

In no particular order. I'm pretty sure I'm running a mild fever, but don't know if that's anything more than correlated to these.

-- Cloverfield is a decent giant monster movie. Generation Kill was a more-than-decent dramatized mini-series on soldiers in the field. Every single one of them was a more compelling character than the useless whining shrieking yuppie idiots that Cloverfield was saddled down by. I want a giant monster movie focusing on a particular company of soldiers trying to contain the entire situation as INSERT MAJOR METROPOLITAN AREA HERE gets trashed.

-- I had a dream this morning of having something or other to do at a generic-university's science building, said building not patterned after any actual location that I could tell. Whatever the original task, it was rapidly obsoleted by the realization that there was a rhino in it; this required moving slowly to get around it lest it get spooked and/or angry and charge, because even in this particular dream logic, in a contest between charging rhino and me, charging rhino is going to win. This was further complicated by the building next door suddenly getting pummeled by airstrikes--jets zooming by and unloading (apparently very wimpy) missiles into it.

I like to think that a giant monster was going to erupt through that building next, and I would've rejoined my unit after dealing with the rhino mission, but I woke up at that point.

posted by Gar @ 11:34 AM

August 15, 2008


The Anti-Olympics

This is my idea, which I invented myself, it is my creation. I should really file a frivolous patent posthaste, but won't, so when the antigames start up in 2010 or 2014, I'll be the bitter drunk guy ranting again about how they stole my idea while all the friends and acquaintances who put up with my nonsense sigh and wait for it to pass again.

So, I was watching a bit of the Olympics, and it occurred to me that the main problem with them is that all the competitions are between people who are similarly massively skilled at whatever the event happens to be. (I'm aware that many people consider this a feature. I am not my brother's keeper.) Then it came to me, in an inspirational flash.

Every even-numbered off-Olympics year--so alternating 4 years sandwiched between the regular ones--there should be the other games. I haven't chosen what to call them yet, and should really just start trademarking every possiblity as it occurs to me. But, again, won't. (See above re: drunken complaining, too late.) These games will likewise involve particpants from all nations. But here's the important twist: whereas the regular Olympics all involve your standard qualifying competitions to winnow out the athletes, the alternate games will be filled by lotto, by pure random pick. It'll be brilliant. The stands will explode in excitement when the pasty stereotypical full-time internet cafe Starcraft-tournament playing Korean actually struggles across the entire length of the 100 meter pool, as opposed to cramping up and sinking to the bottom after floundering ten feet like the 300-pound trucker just did, and who knew that 70 year old grandmother could shoot skeet so well? Except for that one little misfire accident, but judges can be replaced.

I predict with full confidence that the viewership numbers would put the actual Olympics to shame.

posted by Gar @ 1:53 PM

June 24, 2008



So this will probably the most horrible thing I learn about today. The bit where in the linked pdf article that made me physically cringe is the mention of one person with the syndrome having, over time, ripped out the bones of his hard palate. So, that's a fun read that should be shared.

posted by Gar @ 8:35 AM

My God...that cat down there by the acid pool... ain't got NO FACE YYEEEARGH!


posted by Gar @ 7:47 AM

April 16, 2008



I'm a big believer in having piles of neglected things gathering dust. Therefore, I'm nominally signed up on that Twitter thing. In practice, it'll get updated perhaps slightly more often than the blog, which is sort of like saying one midget is slightly taller than another.

I figure it'll still be handy to note things to follow up on later, and also to send coded messages using the agreed-upon ciphers, as I'll be able to update it via phone texting. For instance, if I find myself in a certain situation, I'll be able to thumb in "spleen" as an update, and certain parties--who know they are but not necessarily others who know who they themselves are, and vice versa--will know that it's a call to immediately activate their roles in the Omega Contingency Plan, with said order unable to be countermanded. And so on.

I'll follow up on one important note right now. I got pointed at the Muxtape site awhile back, which is probably one of those things the RIAA has some junior attack lawyers currently being starved in cages while being poked with sticks while effigies of it are waved just out of reach, in order to give them the proper motivation. It's a neat little thing, vaguely akin to something like Pandora or, only with a complete random walk model instead of any sort of recommendation engine. My piece of the effigy, which is an unsurprising random grab of metal and bulldada (if "Banging in the Nails" doesn't put a smile on your face, well, I'll miss you when I'm in Hell later, but not terribly because SubGenius Hell is that sort of place).

But what caught my attention about the place is in the Terms section. You have your usage restrictions--you shouldn't be able to put multiple songs from an artist or single album up on your mix--and "not in the face, not in the face!" CYA fictions like users agreeing to obtain permission to let muxtape use anything they upload. That's all expected and not noteworthy.

But the very last sentence of the terms is, "Muxtape is alive."

And I'm creeped out by this. It's not really the sentiment itself. I mean, sure, it's allegedly just your standard Web 2.0 The Machine Is Us/ing Us buzzwordy bullshit, which will look pretty quaint and staid right about...well, right about now, but also in a few years when that'll be the majority realization too, just like the belated realization that dotcoms weren't actually ushering in a totally different new kind of economy that's rewriting all the rules. (The attentive student of history will realize, from these kinds of belated realizations, that the popular portrayal of mankind as a sentient species is actually just a marketing lie.) That doesn't worry me. I expect to see such statements in "about us" sections and vision statements and whatnot.

But it's in the Terms. It's in there as a mandate. As a base given. It's like a EULA, that by reading you automatically accept, an oral contract. You agree that Muxtape is alive. But what kind of life is it? Have you seen the internet? Have you psmelled it?


posted by Gar @ 11:21 AM

March 11, 2008


Baby Got Back

The original Shawshank Redemption scene, before it was altered due to usual Hollywood test audience lowest common denominator effect. Transcendent, moving, powerful.

Gilbert and Sullivan once covered the Earl of Mixalot's family anthem. The booty ripples backwards in time even unto the age of pirates.

Nerd music superstar Jonathon Coulton's heartfelt acoustic cover. Performance somewhat marred by the sort of thoughtless crass buffoons in the audience who insist on laughing at anything serious and beautiful.

posted by Gar @ 9:47 AM

March 09, 2008


Garfield minus Garfield

Who would have guessed that when you remove Garfield from the Garfield comic strips, the result is an even better comic about schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life? Friends, meet Jon Arbuckle. Let’s laugh and learn with him on a journey deep into the tortured mind of an isolated young everyman as he fights a losing battle against loneliness in a quiet American suburb.

While that may seem to be laying it on a little thick, I've gotta say--it's really onto something.

posted by Gar @ 1:57 PM

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