May 24, 2006


Poodle Fitness

If anyone needs me, I'll just be in the corner, hugging myself rocking in the fetal position and repeatedly banging my head into the wall in a futile attempt to make the images stop.

The last time I felt like this was the first time, over ten years ago, when I channel-surfed into something called "The Xuxa Show" after being up for something like 36 hours. It involved a simultaneously angry and perky-looking woman hosting a kids show with a soundstage packed beyond fire code with screaming children, who were being herded and corraled by ~13 year olds in quasi-showgirl outfits. It most memorably involved two teams of kids wearing helmets with large bowls mounted on top, in which they had to try to catch fish that were catapulted from seesaws being stomped on, while the near-riot of other children were led in chants of "CATCH THE FISH!"

That was somewhat more intense, but I've found that Poodle Fitness has brought back a strong enough echo of that kind of unnatural stress to bring the Xuxa memories back. Goddamn you, Japan.

posted by Gar @ 7:51 AM
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