August 20, 2005


Alternate theory roundup

The Flying Spaghetti Monster is of course becoming well known--on the sort of relative scale where such things exist--as a good alternate theory to evolution. I think it has its merits, and the area of suggested research in it that really demands further grants is the bit about there being a strong inverse correlation between number of pirates and global warming. (Now, granted, correlation isn't at all the same thing as causation (that being the sort of statement that most people will stare blankly at, quivering on the threshold of australopithecian screeching and jumping-about-the-monolith that's a sure sign they're going to vote for the other guy) but it's a strong case. But what about numbers of ninjas? Or, for that matter, robots? Like I say, it needs further research.)

Intelligent Falling should obviously gain its time, but I will say it's disingenuous of its current proponents to imply that the theory doesn't make a final claim as to the agency of the push-fall force. It's invisible elves, the equations clearly support that it's invisible elves, and it's dishonest to try to draw attention away from that. I'm aware that full honesty is frequently incompatible with politics, but it's still bothersome.

On sociological matters, the Ping Pong Ball Pelting theory of child-rearing also has evocative and compelling points. I'd like to have a president who announces his or her (I'm joking, of course, I just mean his) support for its teaching. I think it's possible that Walken might support it. I can see him announcing that at a State of the Union address.

posted by Gar @ 2:57 PM
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